What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

True - how I loved my mum!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do you mean son?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Have anyone had an relationship of any kind with a spirit or demon, such as a succubus? If so, how was it?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Do you know what she said mum?

What is the irony of life according to you?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”